Bill Jordan: Billy B. Van

Julia Jordan, his wife

Their Son

Miss Fitt, “the ward high-heeler”

Minnie Austin, Plumber

Babette Spareribs, the butcher

Town Gossips

Soldiers

Telegram delivery person

Mr. Spavin

It’s breakfast time at the home of Bill and Julia Jordan on election day, and with women heading to the polls for the first time, local electioneer Miss Fitt arrives to escort Julia to cast her ballot. Glad for a little peace and quiet after they leave, Bill settles in for a nap—and soon finds himself in an extraordinary dream.

The nation is at war, and every woman in town has been called to arms to defend the talcum powder mines, whose precious contents are proclaimed essential to preserving “the whole face of civilization.” Julia eagerly enlists, leaving Bill behind to care for their child, cook the meals, and keep house while she marches off to battle.

Bill’s new domestic routine quickly proves overwhelming. While washing dishes, he discovers a leaky sink and calls the plumber, only to find that in this upside-down world the plumber, Minnie Austin, is a woman. Before she arrives, Bill receives a visit from the family’s butcher, Babette Spareribs, who offers to forgive his unpaid bill in exchange for a kiss. Bill desperately resists her advances until Minnie bursts in and rescues the “innocent young man.”

The grateful Bill soon becomes the center of an all-out brawl as Minnie and Babette fight over him in the Jordan kitchen. The noisy altercation draws curious neighbors to the window, and before long the town gossips have spread word of Bill’s supposed indiscretions far and wide. Babette ultimately departs with a new beau of her own, while Minnie finishes repairing the sink—and leaves Bill hopelessly smitten.

Now thoroughly enchanted, Bill attempts to impress Minnie by preparing dinner, although his culinary efforts go awry when he mixes explosive powder into his biscuits. Undeterred, Minnie later invites him to accompany her to the town ball. Bill proudly shows off her invitation to the other househusbands during their knitting circle for the soldiers overseas, only to discover that each of them has received similar invitations from admiring women.

Meanwhile, Julia has been wounded on the battlefield just as the war comes to an end. As she and the victorious soldiers return home, Bill prepares for his evening out with Minnie, taking far longer to dress than his impatient date would like.

When Julia arrives home, she finds her child safely asleep—but Bill nowhere to be found. Discovering Minnie’s invitation, she leads her fellow soldiers to the ballroom, where Bill is arrested for his faithlessness and sentenced before a firing squad. As the rifles fire, Bill flails in terror before suddenly awakening from his nightmare, relieved to discover that Julia has merely returned home from voting rather than from the battlefield.

Run time: 24:25
Status: survives
Surviving materials: 35mm nitrate print at the U.S. Library of Congress,  2017 modern digital reconstruction
Piano accompaniment: Bob Merrill

Reelcraft Pictures Corporation Presents Billy B. Van in “Where Are Your Husbands?”

A mostly complete print of “Where Are Your Husbands?” was rediscovered in the uncatalogued holdings of the Library of Congress in 2017.

The version presented here is a modern reconstruction created in 2017. It includes a newly prepared opening and a new piano accompaniment and differs slightly from the archival print held by the Library of Congress.

August 29, 1920 Film Daily review:

“Obviously, this two-reeler, one of a set known as Royal Comedies and starring Billy B. Van, was made before the end of the war, for it is a sort of burlesque on the conflict. A fight of American women to protect their talcum powder forms the backbone of the piece, the effeminate habits cultivated by the men during the absence of their wives being depicted throughout most of the footage. As many people will expect, it turns out to be a dream at the finish, with the principal gleeful over the fact that what has passed was merely a nightmare. Generally an average comedy which is not timely now.”